


It's Inevitable, When You Grow Up You're Heart Dies.

by IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight (Menochange)



Series: The Ballad of Damian Wayne [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Age Reversal, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bruce is Emotionally Constipated, Damian has self worth issues, Damian is the oldest, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Timmy is always the replacement, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 06:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15042644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menochange/pseuds/IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight
Summary: In a way it was ironic, funny even how things turned out. He always considered himself to be the best, the first and only true blood son of the Bat. So had to be funny right, because otherwise it would just be tragic, the story of the first child; the story of the boy who had to fight tooth and nail for every speck of love and affection that everyone else received so easily.AU, Where Damian is Bruce's first kid, Batman's first sidekick and a sad angsty shit.





	It's Inevitable, When You Grow Up You're Heart Dies.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Batman fic, I'm actually a super new Batman fan. It's funny because I spent years being all DC is shit and marvel is amazing and then I actually started reading SuperSons ( by accident, I saw a picture on pinterest and then I was hooked) and now I've been binge reading all the batman comics (From the introduction of Damian, since he is my legit favorite)
> 
> Also you already know this but disclaimer: All characters belong to DC.  
> The Title comes from the breakfast club (but also Bastille because I was listening to their song falling which has that conversation at the start of the song)
> 
> Let me know what you think :)

In a way it was ironic, funny even how things turned out. He always considered himself to be the best, the first and only true blood son of the Bat. So it had to be funny right, because otherwise it would just be tragic, the story of the first child; the story of the boy who had to fight tooth and nail for every speck of love and affection that everyone else received so easily.

He knew it was childish this jealously he holds for his adopted siblings, it’s not their fault he is unlovable, untrustworthy, a monster. But he is jealous, he has been since fought his way back from the grasp of his grandfather, travelled half way across the world just go home. In hopes that his father would be pleased to see Damian alive once more, only to find that he had been replaced and that his father looked so much happier without him, freer; like he no longer needed to watch his back, no longer needed to guard himself because his new partner (Red Robin, he called himself like Damian’s own alias was beneath him, like his legacy as Raven, Batman’s partner was worthless) was  trustworthy, better in every way in comparison to the monster he had been glad to be rid of.

It was at that moment that Damian realised that he had no home, he no longer fit with his mother; the very woman who had sent him to live with his father in the first place only to have him killed when he stopped being her pawn, nor could he go back to his grandfather; the man who resurrected him, not out of grief or anything as trivial as familial love but rather the need for a vessel to contain his cold, soulless essence. And his father was clearly better off without him, he was probably relieved to be finally rid of the demon child that he had not wanted, the child that was thrust upon him unbidden. He had watched Batman with his new protégé, he had heard their laughter, witnessed the love and the trust that lay between them, the way they fit so seamlessly together in a way that Damian had never managed.

When he had first arrived at Wayne manor at the tender age of 8 he had been overjoyed to finally meet his father; the man, the legend, The Bat. His mother had always claimed that his father was an amazing detective, a warrior whose skill was unparalleled – which is why Damian had tried so hard to show his father he was worthy, he had wanted to make a good first impression, he had not been informed whether by accident or on purpose (knowing his mother it could have honestly been either) that his father was morally opposed to killing. He had not received Damian’s offering well.

From there on out their relationship was set, Damian would try and appease his father; he pushed himself to his limits, he followed every rule set upon him both as Raven and the Wayne heir, he smiled for the cameras, playing Bruce Wayne’s dutiful, guileless son during the day and at night he played the role of Raven Batman’s dutiful, justice-loving sidekick. Jumping from one role to another following orders and playing his part impeccably even as he internally disagreed, even as he stared down the mirror not recognising the boy reflected back at him. For years he gave everything he had in hopes that his father would love him, in hopes that he would one day gain his father’s approval, his trust.

He used to worry constantly about his actions, whether his next mistake would be the final straw for his father, he used to imagine it in detail – his father would call Damian into his study, Pennyworth would be there a suitcase packed and ready as they informed him he was no longer needed, that it was a mistake for his father to take him in. His father would look him in the eye and tell him that blood didn’t mean anything, that he was a disgrace, that he was not worthy of the name Wayne. Then they would kick him out, drop him at Gotham’s city limits, tell him to leave and never return – it was sometimes implied sometime outright stated that if he did Batman would come after him, he would break the no killing rule and end him once and for all because Damian was a monster, one that even Batman with his strict moral code, agreed had no right to live.

But before his death he had thought all his work was finally paying off, he had deluded himself into believing that his father had started to care for him, that the man had finally started to see him as more than an obligation, an added burden he did not want. They had even begun talking at their compulsory meal times; civil, causal talks about anything and everything – it had started with talks about his school work (which was laughably easy) and had progressed into in depth conversations about the books he was reading or random facts Damian had learnt (through self-study obviously since it was a wonder anyone learnt anything in that pitiful excuse for an educational establishment) jumping from one topic to the next. It had been progress from the lectures or deafening silence they had used to sit in.

In hindsight he had been a naive child who had fooled himself into believing he was worthy of his father’s love. It was clear looking at the relationship between his replacement and his mentor that Damian has mistaken Batman’s pity for love. Every laugh and smile he had fought so hard for came so naturally around his successor.

He had thought he had known pain when he heard that his mother had placed a bounty on his head, thought his heart couldn’t break any more when he looked into his mother’s eye’s as he took his last dying breath. But compared to this that was child’s play, a mere paper cut to the gaping wound in his chest where his heart had once been. Dying had felt less painful compared to the indescribable mix of emotions he felt as he realised he was wrong – He did not belong here.  

He knew he had to leave, Gotham was no longer his home and staying would only lead to bitterness, anger and heartbreak. Biologically he may be 14 but he was no child, he did not need an adult to hold his hand or a parent to tuck him in at night and tell him what to do, he was a warrior. He would survive.

He would leave and never return.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys,  
> Probably going to make this a series, already working on the next part so stay tuned if you liked this one :)


End file.
